It seemed like a convergence of just one too many difficult events – each one vying for my attention and time. Set against the backdrop of the angry fervor of US Presidential Primary season it seemed almost like an extension of the fear and panic energy. My quiet life in Costa Rica felt threatened through the early months of 2016.
An early May court hearing was supposed to be the resolution of a lawsuit filed against me by the former part time farm workers of Frank – for $60,000. The lawsuit was initiated shortly after Frank passed in March, 2014 and had been hanging over me for the two years. Though my attorney called it a ‘nuisance suit’, it still slithered into my sleep time. The farm was sold in November, 2014.
On the day of the hearing, the process was postponed due to an oversight by the opposing attorney. It looked to me like the dark cloud would simply continue to drift along over me, just out of clear focus.
Then the cloud got darker. An email demanding money for a different Farm issue from the past got my attention. I spent another week in sleep-deprived turmoil over how best to respond. Adding in various other issues – a computer lost somewhere in shipping, a sick dog, some family worries and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. I was feeling alone and scared.
I was surprised by an ‘out of the blue’ outreach by a woman I had never met – who said her name was Sue Hannibal and that she was coming to Costa Rica and would like to talk with me – could we Skype? I generally try not to direct much energy to this kind of inquiry because I find it impossible to advise someone whose lifestyle preferences are likely far removed from my very simple and rustic ‘Tico ways”. But because she also said she was a writer with published books, my curiosity was piqued. We agreed to a time to Skype and found plenty to talk about – for nearly two hours. She would assist me with some publishing help in exchange for my assistance in her investigation of Costa Rica. Oh – and by the way, she was a healer, with an Amazon 5 star rated eBook, Spiritual Compass:. Practical Strategies for When You Feel Lost, Alone and God Seems Far Away.
A week later Sue called me from her hotel in northern Costa Rica. We talked a bit about Costa Rica and some of her impressions and I told her I was reading her eBook and finding the reading interesting, even compelling thought I didn’t immediately understand how healing related to me.
There was a break in the conversation as she asked me what was going on in my life. I tried to brush the question aside, just mentioning that I was involved in some financially devastating legal attacks by those connected to my late husband, Frank’s organic farm. Avoiding details, I quickly said that I and his step sons had sold the farm eighteen months earlier. She asked me to continue. I told her that I was now the focus of an ongoing lawsuit, initiated by the former farm workers. And another potential one was brewing. I was feeling targeted – vulnerable and frightened. Immediately she suggested we do a healing and repeated the phrase from the Bible, “whenever two or more are gathered in my name, there I am with them”. It is a recognized space for healing in God’s presence. Though I adhere to a pretty expanded view of God – that includes all Deities, religious denominations and quantum physics and I see “God” more as the mysterious energy field that connects us all, I recognize the commonalities in all faith and belief systems. I also see that within each is the space for miracles.
She went on as I listened. “I am here. You are here and my husband is also here. There are three of us.” I agreed, simply following her lead, glancing at Seurat and Frida and Sage and thinking that actually there are six of us.
Sue began by invoking the help of all my angels, the Archangels, my spirit guides as well as Frank in spirit and his spirit guides – asking that we come together to resolve the situations around me that are filled with negativity directed toward me. She asked for help in removing the negative energy in the form of lies and mal-intentions and to resolve it all for the highest truth and purpose for all involved. She asked for it all in the name of the Lord. At the end of her healing words she merely said, “It is done.”
She then told me that I needed to send love and light out to each person who is involved in these acts against me and ask that their spirits move toward their highest purpose. She asked for it all to be resolved for the highest good for all. I agreed to that. I also smiled to myself that Raphael, my personal saint/Archangel was most certainly there.
After we said goodbye, I spent some time with eyes closed, visualizing the two workers and all others connected to the farm and I sent them all love and white light. Then I went to bed – exhausted.
I woke quietly in the night and noted how dark it was outside and the glowing numerals of 4:00 on my clock across the room. Closing my eyes again, I noticed how comfortable my bed and pillow felt to me – and I relaxed back into a soft sleep. A gentle image came to me – I was curled up and cradled in the lap of one of my spirit guides, Rachael who had helped me through several past traumatic life events after I became aware of her in 1982, soon after my divorce. The vision was deeply comforting and it felt like Rachael’s lap was soft and protective but also very much like the roots of a great tree – and that Rachael was even transformed into that tree. It felt like an ancient forest. Just beyond I saw Frank’s face, smiling. Around us it was dark and quiet and comforting. Then, through my closed eyes, it began to get lighter – and the light grew, surrounding me, the forest and the great tree. I briefly wondered if the sun was coming up in Costa Rica, but brushed that aside with my rational mind knowing it was before 5 a.m. Then the dream/vision faded and I was once again so comfortable on my bed with my soft pillow and knowing that I didn’t want the dream to end. And it didn’t. The dream/vision reappeared and I would be back in the forest cradled in Rachael’s lap, Frank smiling beyond and white light increasing all around us. Each time I felt like I was floating – effortless, light all around and all I could think or feel was that this was perfect and I was exactly where I was to be. For the next hour or so I repeatedly moved into and out of the dream/vision, always returning to the comfort of my bed and pillow and keeping my eyes closed. Finally at 5:15 I opened my eyes and saw the subtle suggestion of daybreak through the windows.
I knew immediately that something significant had changed. Though everything around me – my house, my dogs and Sage, my view out across the valley seemed to be the same, all seemed slightly different. Lighter is how I can describe it. I felt lighter. Not happier. Just lighter. I wondered about the possibility of a parallel universe. Frank had often wondered about that concept.
I took some time to meditate and again send light and love to those involved in the negativity and lies around Frank’s farm and also taking time to bathe the farm in healing light and wishing for it to achieve its highest purpose. Frank had reminded me that the farm had a soul – and I appealed to its soul to embrace all who were and are connected to it.
The day progressed and seemed almost to be sprinkled in a path of magic. I wondered what else might be happening out of my sight and current knowing. It was hard to miss the little things that occurred that Thursday morning.
At the feria (open air market), several people came up to me and remarked about how good I looked. It seemed that more than usual reached out to embrace me. Some minor difficulties were almost magically resolved – while driving on the main highway I was alerted by two passing motorists to my almost flat rear tire. I pulled into a service station and the attendant fixed it immediately and would not take any payment. I continued on down the highway to a hardware store to find a replacement socket for a broken, in-cabinet light fixture. Instead, the smiling salesman suggested a new, better one that was LED and used less electricity. I purchased the socket and the bulb for under $3.
Back home in my office, the lightness continued. It included my newly purchased computer that appeared to be lost somewhere between Vermont and Seattle, Washington. I had ordered it online – nearly two weeks earlier – to be delivered to the house of my son, Tim who would bring it to me in Costa Rica when he visited in July. The delivery was attempted twice with no one home to sign for it – and now my online UPS traces had mysteriously stopped providing updates. I had called several times to the electronics outlet where I had purchased it and was assured that it would be delivered to the new address I offered where a signature could be received. It wasn’t. Three more days went by and Tim received a notice that it was to be returned to Vermont. Thursday morning I tried one last time. And this time was different. My call reached a woman who said she would help and the computer was delivered to Tim a few hours later.
And the day proceeded in its soft, gentle manner winding up with Jane (my realtor friend who had helped with the farm sale) coming to my house to assist me with my response to the most recent focused attempt for money. I felt targeted because I was. My co-sellers – Frank’s stepsons who had owned half of the farm had not been included nor had they responded to any of my after sale farm correspondence. It seemed that they felt safely apart from all the farm turmoil set in Costa Rica.
As Jane and I worked, I heard my cell phone ring from the other room. I got up to answer it and could hardly believe what I saw and heard. The caller was one of the stepsons and it would be our first conversation in eighteen months. He offered assurances and help. I couldn’t help but feel the shift in energy. And the lightness.
Deep sleep came effortlessly.
I had experienced a healing.
Weeks later I found myself writing this article and wishing there was a painting I had that could express what I had experienced. As I scrolled through the hundreds of images on my computer I was suddenly startled by a painting I didn’t recognize. It wasn’t mine. It was done by my son, Jonathan years ago and had somehow found its way into my ‘Jan’s Paintings’ folder.
Clearing Above, Jonathan Owens, soft pastel on paper
In Jonathan’s words,
“In this painting I felt a sense of clearing, a feeling of hope finally realized, with light making its way through this dense, cloud scape. Yet, on the horizon, in the distance there is another area of secondary light, almost like a memory.”