Finally I was understanding that healing could not and would not be rushed. I knew that my Achilles tendon wound was healing silently, cell by cell by cell. And now I sensed that my spirit also needed to heal more deeply. If only I had direction in how to move into those places where it could happen.

Direction and guidance appeared out of nowhere. But first I had to recognize it. And then accept it.

Seurat 

Seurat was the first to offer a way. This mighty little dog–part Blue Healer and part Basset hound (probably) with a full dog body and very short legs–had been with me for 13 of his 15 years of life. He became my teacher through example when his health failed.

I watched him struggle to walk and struggle to eat. Sometimes it was painful to see him fall but it did not ever seem to be too much for him. He just kept moving forward. He continued to follow Frida up the road whenever someone opened the back door for them. A few steps almost running and then falling, he kept going. He spent a lot of time resting too.

As I comforted him from my chair, I felt like I was helping his healing efforts. And I began to feel my own. Seurat was showing me how to accept life in a new way – by pushing forward while accepting the new limitations with grace and enduring patience. From the day of his first collapse, Seurat never left my side – except to follow Frida up the hill and back. He became my role model.

Sage, with Tim and Billy and Dr. Mario 

I was devastated to hear that my lung disease meant that I needed to let go of Sage, my dear friend of 13 years. I did not want to let go. But it was through Sage with help from Tim and Billy, that I was shown another aspect of deep healing. I learned how to see a tragic situation in a new way. And I was shown how to actively participate in a major act of letting go.

In the days that followed the directive from Dr. Rojas, I struggled to come to terms with the immediacy of finding a new home for Sage. Tim gently suggested that maybe this could be an opportunity for both Sage and me. He pointed out the reality that Sage could likely live another forty years. He didn’t say, but we both understood that my 76^th birthday was just two months away. Finding a good home now for Sage could allow for a well thought through transition. After all he said, it would be tragic to be forced to quickly relocate Sage in an emergency.

I needed to find a new home for Sage. Inquiries and friends’ suggestions offered little help mostly because I was very particular. He needed to be with someone who appreciated his intelligence and emotional needs and had experience with parrots. I wanted him to be well cared for and close enough to visit. And I wanted his new care takers to be younger than me.

The solution appeared right in front of me.

Throughout the five months of wound care after the Achilles tendon surgery, Billy and Dr. Mario were the near daily constants in my life. We forged a unique and special partner/friend ship over the repetitive and often tedious weeks. Our meetings were frequent because Dr. Mario insisted on doing all the care himself. And Billy always accompanied me – driving, managing the wheelchair and translating. It wasn’t long before we discovered our shared interest. We were all animal lovers.

At each appointment Billy and Dr. Mario started talking, sharing cell phone photos and anecdotes about their respective animals. Billy shared stories of his animals on the farm and Dr Mario often offered medical advice. He was an orthopedic surgeon who wished to be a farmer. Sometimes I even had to interrupt their colorful rapid Spanish conversations to ask a question about my wound.

One day the animal subject turned to birds and I heard Dr. Mario say he loved all birds. He talked about a rescued parrot as well as geese, chickens and pea fowl. I responded by saying that I had an African Grey parrot. He became very excited and I was surprised to hear how much he knew about them. All of this conversation was way before I found out that I needed to find a new home for Sage.

I didn’t even consider Dr. Mario as a new care taker for Sage at first. Our doctor/patient relationship prevented it though he met all my criteria: He was nearly thirty years younger, lived nearby, loved parrots, already had an Eclectus parrot he’d nursed back to health and was quite invested in the local San Isidro community. Billy recognized the opportunity immediately – and simply suggested it one afternoon as Dr. Mario bandaged my wound. I didn’t immediately respond to the surprise idea, but I thought about it.

At our next appointment Dr. Mario announced that he was in the process of building a very large cage for Sage. Billy translated and I saw myself simply agree. We just all knew that this was the right solution for Sage.

Several weeks later, Billy and I took Sage to his new home at Dr. Mario’s house. I was surprised to see that Sage appeared so very calm and in apparent agreement. He showed interest in his Eclectus neighbor who spoke only Spanish. Before I left I scratched Sage’s neck and gently rubbed around his eyes – his favorite loving gesture. He muttered the deep “Ohhhhh” that meant that all was well. And I knew it was.

Creative Healing  and the Painting Sale

As soon as I knew I needed surgery for each issue, I wondered how I would pay for both. The Achilles tendon repair had added $3200 to the total. There wasn’t time to wait for the free Caja system (National Health Care). While Tim was with me in May, we sat talking on the porch and I brought up an idea to offer paintings for sale online. Perhaps son Jonathan (Jay), my most trusted web-master could build the pages…   I knew I had a couple hundred paintings, most in partially finished stages. Tim thought it was a good idea though neither of us knew how or if and online painting sale would work.

 

So, my mission between the end of May and early August was to finish the paintings. For me this would be a big step. For over thirty five years I taught others to paint through the countless demos I did in classes and workshops. Most were never finished because there wasn’t time in class. Additionally I became accustomed to only painting with students. I needed to finish the paintings and I wondered if I could do it. Alone. I felt the resistance and fear that often accompanies creativity. In the seconds before starting there is a whispered question – “What if I Can’t?”

As soon as my brush touched the partially completed painting of the iguana I felt myself immerse into that place where time stands still. I simply slid into it. With no one else present, I slipped into a creative and magic place of healing for my spirit. A calmness swept through me along with a confidence. Every brush stroke became softly guided as I moved through the colored shapes while the iguana transformed to a live being looking directly at me. I named this first finishing ‘Interconnected’. It was like a meditation and in some odd way I felt that while I was finishing the painting, the painting was healing me..

By August I had finished all 80 of the paintings. After being professionally photographed, Tim took them back to Seattle to my friends who would prepare them for mailing. Jonathan finished up the Jan Hart Medical Expenses Painting Sale page and we were ready for the sale to begin October 1. 31 paintings sold through October. The remaining paintings are on sale through the holidays at a 15% Holiday Discount.

Aviary Transformation

While I was relieved that Sage was safe with Dr. Mario, the aviary at home felt empty and abandoned. It had been the first structure I had built at my house nearly ten years before. Its location was especially important to me – right next to and adjoining my office, where I spent most of my time. A part of it even extended into the office that allowed my parrots to come into my house through the operable glass doors. Sage had especially loved the close connection to me after the other parrots passed away, one by one. Now the aviary felt lifeless. The perches were empty.

I was now ready to complete the transformation of both the office and adjoining aviary. Since I could no longer have colorful parrots near me, I wondered about colorful flowers instead.

I called Oscar, my neighbor who had done most of the building projects at Casa de Corazon. Together we talked about both the aviary and the office. Soon we were in full design mode with tape measurers and lively conversation punctuated with the only three words of English Oscar knew. “No problem Jan”. I had just enough money from a new student who signed up for an Intensive.

The project was finished a few weeks later. I loved the new L-shaped desk with no drawers and the wall of windows. And most of all I loved that my view over my left shoulder would soon be filled with hanging containers of colorful fushias, begonias and trailing geraniums sparkling in the morning sun. Some of the perches remained with one still holding a parrot toy. Beyond was the stone enclosed outdoor shower under the cercopia tree.

Each morning I open the windows to feel the fresh scented breeze and remember my parrots and their special places in my life.

During the clean up I found the perfect icon to commemorate the project. It is an Art Deco nightlight statue from long ago in Santa Fe, NM. A demure, barefooted young woman with a billowy glass skirt – arms outstretched in the act of allowing a bird to fly away. Letting go.

Jonathan’s Energy Healing  

From the time Jonathan (Jay), my third son was just a child he shared with me his experiences about moving energy through his body. He discovered it on his own and was fascinated by his ability to deeply feel it. Whenever he felt overwhelmed in life, he had a way to relax himself. Now, at forty five, he still occasionally meditated and relaxed using his ability to deeply connect to the energy that begins at the top of his head and moves down through his body and out to fingers and toes.

My five months of healing presented a perfect opportunity for him to see if he could focus his energy on my healing. It would have to be long distance – from Washington state to Costa Rica. What could it hurt to try?  We discussed it and knew that the only time Jay had in his busy life with his demanding job as a web designer and father/husband at home was the ten minutes while he rode the bus to work. So that is what we used.  About once a week.

At precisely 8:40 a.m. my time (Mountain time) and 7:40 a.m. his time (Pacific time), I would relax on my bed and still my heart and mind to receive energy.  Jay would ask for help from his guides, my guides and angels and then sit quietly in meditation at the back of the bus. Ten minutes. As soon as he finished, he walked another ten minutes to his office while we shared experiences of the healing via WhatsApp on our cell phones. Often it was colors, a sense of tingling, orbs and/or a deep sense of connection. We didn’t judge. We simply accepted.

Of course we both wondered if it was helping. How could we know?

One Tuesday afternoon suggested an answer. While Dr. Mario changed my bandages he expressed concern about my progress and asked me to return in two days. The next morning Jay offered 10 minutes of long distance healing. I’ll never forget the surprised response from Dr. Mario on Thursday afternoon.  He expressed aloud that he could not believe the healing! I smiled and said nothing.

Jay and I just understood that our jobs were to suspend judgment, get ourselves out of the way, ask for spiritual help and allow it to happen. Thank you Jonathan!

And so it continues. My teachers and events continue to show me a way to deeper healing.

• Seurat teaches me about patience and perseverance. Every morning he is once again ready to try to run up the hill.
• Sage teaches me the value of Letting Go and accepting change. Each time I visit he reminds me about being willing to accept changes and to find happiness again in a new place.
• The transformation of the aviary and office reminds me about the healing power of deliberately making meaningful changes after a painful trauma. The Letting Go night light reminds me every night.
• Writing and Painting remind me always that creativity powers deep healing. Through immersion into my creative ‘right brain’, I can access a higher place of peace in this hardly noticeable shift of consciousness. There is powerful healing there.
• Energy Healing through the intentional focus of energy, even across great distances is miraculous. The trick is to suspend judgment and allow through intention.
• It is important to Pay Attention to the synchronicities and subtleties in every day life. Watching clouds. Noticing the colors. Feeding the birds. Working in the garden. Each action calms and deeply heals.

 

My journey of healing continues. And as I go I am beginning to understand that this process is both exquisitely simple and magically complex all at the same time. I could see that Doctor Mario and others were healing the wound through careful attention. Most of that was visible at the surface of my body. But the crucial deep healing was up to me and largely out of sight. I could help by letting go thinking I knew how it should be and accept the mysterious process. My job is to be open to the healing power of powerful examples, energy and shifts in consciousness.  I pictured it kind of like the mornings when clouds cover the valley below my house. The clouds are like my skin surface. Above there is sunshine and clarity – the Tinemaste Ridge, the clouds and morning sky. Deep under the clouds are the miraculous shifts and stirrings that power life.

“A healer’s power stems not from any special ability, but from maintaining the courage and awareness to embody and express the universal healing power that every human being naturally possesses.”
― Eric Micha’el Leventhal

Healing Update   November, 2018

• Achilles tendon:  My Achilles tendon is completely healed and stronger than ever!  I have no pain and full flexibility.  I am grateful.  Though I do have some sciatic nerve pain resulting from too long, too dormant muscles, I am slowly getting back to walking normally.
• Lung disease:  We are in the process of reviewing through a CT scan at the end of Nov. Since mid July I have not experienced the coughing symptoms of the ILD and we don’t understand why.  Could I have been healed?
• Medical Expenses:  The Jan Hart Medical Expenses Painting Sale is a continuing success!  31 of the 80 paintings are with new owners covering nearly 85% of the medical expenses.  And it continues!  We are now in Holiday Sale mode and offering a 15% discount through Christmas!   I am so grateful and thrilled!
• Seurat   Seurat continues to thrive in spite of his age. He is slower, nearly deaf and blind – but his heart and his spirit are unstoppable!  I am so grateful.
• Sage   Sage is enjoying his place with Dr. Mario’s family! I am able to simply ring the front gate and am escorted through the house to visit!  I always whistle from the gate, and Sage always answers in our familiar communication.  I miss him terribly but I am also terribly grateful.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
― Rumi